‘Years later, I am making seven figures’: Redditor shares how her ex taught her financial independence before leaving her, proving money over love isn’t always the answer

Financial independence

Many women in the AskWomen thread echoed that sentiment, admitting that prioritizing their education, careers and personal growth gave them a more reliable path to financial freedom than depending on a partner.

Theansweriscats credited much of her success to the lessons she learned from her partner. “Honestly, I could not have secured my own financial stability if it were not for learning all that I did from my ex-husband,” she wrote. “I still hear his voice in my head advising me.”

Her story also serves as a cautionary tale about the risks of financial dependency. According to data from YouGov, more than one-third of women in relationships report being financially dependent on their partner, with 15% stating they are fully dependent and 20% admitting to being somewhat reliant.

Financial independence means financially sustaining yourself without relying on an external source of income, explained Melissa Terry, a chartered financial analyst at VEM Tooling in Kenner, Louisiana. In a Forbes interview, she described financial independence as “a state where one has acquired enough wealth, assets, and income to sustain their desired lifestyle”.

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The emotional cost

While financial independence offers empowerment, the emotional toll of prioritizing money over love can be steep. For theansweriscats, the trade-off had its challenges.

“It worked for me,” she shared. “But I agree with you, women should exercise caution when depending on a partner/man entirely for her livelihood without protections in place.”

Divorce, in particular, is not only emotionally taxing but also expensive. According to Prudential Financial, divorce costs an average of $10,100 for couples without children and $15,000 for those with children. Even when financial stability is achieved through a relationship, its dissolution can erase many of its initial benefits. An estimated 41% of first marriages end in divorce, according to Wilkinson & Finkbeiner.

The answer to the question on the subreddit, “For women who chose financial security over love, how did that turn out?” is not definite. Theansweriscats’ story shows that success isn’t about choosing one over the other.